Many weeks later...
So said Future-Brother-In-Law (who will now be referred to as Jack) has ignored me ever since. Jack does not respond to my messages. Jack does not talk to me at all. And Jack is supposed to be the Best Man. Now, Jack does talk to my Fiance. But this is rare and Jack is usually busy playing World of Warcraft or some other video game that he doesn't even give my Fiance the time of day, let alone an actual conversation.
Jack also disapproves of female Groomsmen and male Bridesmaids. When Fiance told him this, he was very grumbly and said that Groomsmen were supposed to be men. So Fiance said, well, we can call them Groomswomen. This is a nifty idea, but Jack dismissed it saying that "That doesn't change the issue".
Personally, I think Jack needs to take his head out of his ass and get over himself.
Jack is a jackass.
Monday, 8 December 2014
Thursday, 20 November 2014
Dear Future Brother-in-Law
Below is a letter I composed for my future brother-in-law, a male superiority pig. My fiancé and I are changing our last names via a mashup to symbolize equality, compromise, and starting our own family. He is vehemently against this idea- to the point of saying he would be less family if his brother, my fiancé, changes his last name. I have not sent it due to my fiancé's wishes, as it is pretty harsh, and all names have been replaced with generalizations.
Dear Future Brother-In-Law,
I am not sure what your intentions are in "persuading" my fiancé to keep his last name as his married name, but you must realize your actions are having the inverse reaction.
Consider this: He wants a different last name. You and your father ridicule him on this and tell him that he should not do this. Then YOU threaten him by saying he will be "less" family. No, he won't be less family. And if he does, it will be YOUR doing. If you really devalue your brotherly relationship with my fiancé, then that is YOUR FAULT NOT HIS.
This mere idea "deeply cut me". I was so livid I literally could not sleep Saturday night and still have issue sleeping. I've cried countless times over this. What kind of brother casually lessens his family ties with someone over a FUCKING NAME CHANGE.
If he was a woman, this would be no issue. Heck! IF HE WAS A WOMAN AND I WAS A MAN AND I WANTED TO TAKE THE YOUR LAST NAME- YOU AND YOUR DAD WOULD BE THRILLED.
Guess what? I AM A WOMAN. Does my name have no meaning? Is my name worthless? Is my "family legacy" less than my fiancé's? Does it have to be my last name or yours or there is no winner? I didn't even realize this was a fucking competition. It is two families MERGING for pete's sake, not one family absorbing the other!
What impact does a name change really have on YOUR life?
What if we have only girls (seeing as I come from a family of 4 of them with NO boys)? Then this WHOLE argument from your standpoint is moot! Your argument is ONLY valid if I have boys.
By suggesting that we keep our own names but that my own fucking children should have a different last name from me is absurd. I get to have them inside me for 9 months. I get to go through labour. I get to be sick and in pain and emotionally fucked up for that period of time- and still don't get the last name connection with my children?!?! While the man has a penis, so therefore the children get his name.
Not only this, but I come from a family where when I was born, I had a different last name than my father. It was HELL for him to do anything without my mother, especially travel related, due to that differing last name. This is based on the real world fear of child abduction. Do I deserve to be subjected to this? Does my fiancé?
You not only insulted me, a future sister-in-law, but also every woman on this planet. You labelled their names as being worthless and the man's name to be superior, this giving them a status of a second class citizen. That is an injustice to ALL WOMEN and I am deeply disappointed in you. I expected better from you.
I thought you would be a supportive player in this- however, I guess I am wrong. I am sorry for holding you in such high regard.
-Your devastated future sister-in-law
Dear Future Brother-In-Law,
I am not sure what your intentions are in "persuading" my fiancé to keep his last name as his married name, but you must realize your actions are having the inverse reaction.
Consider this: He wants a different last name. You and your father ridicule him on this and tell him that he should not do this. Then YOU threaten him by saying he will be "less" family. No, he won't be less family. And if he does, it will be YOUR doing. If you really devalue your brotherly relationship with my fiancé, then that is YOUR FAULT NOT HIS.
This mere idea "deeply cut me". I was so livid I literally could not sleep Saturday night and still have issue sleeping. I've cried countless times over this. What kind of brother casually lessens his family ties with someone over a FUCKING NAME CHANGE.
If he was a woman, this would be no issue. Heck! IF HE WAS A WOMAN AND I WAS A MAN AND I WANTED TO TAKE THE YOUR LAST NAME- YOU AND YOUR DAD WOULD BE THRILLED.
Guess what? I AM A WOMAN. Does my name have no meaning? Is my name worthless? Is my "family legacy" less than my fiancé's? Does it have to be my last name or yours or there is no winner? I didn't even realize this was a fucking competition. It is two families MERGING for pete's sake, not one family absorbing the other!
What impact does a name change really have on YOUR life?
What if we have only girls (seeing as I come from a family of 4 of them with NO boys)? Then this WHOLE argument from your standpoint is moot! Your argument is ONLY valid if I have boys.
By suggesting that we keep our own names but that my own fucking children should have a different last name from me is absurd. I get to have them inside me for 9 months. I get to go through labour. I get to be sick and in pain and emotionally fucked up for that period of time- and still don't get the last name connection with my children?!?! While the man has a penis, so therefore the children get his name.
Not only this, but I come from a family where when I was born, I had a different last name than my father. It was HELL for him to do anything without my mother, especially travel related, due to that differing last name. This is based on the real world fear of child abduction. Do I deserve to be subjected to this? Does my fiancé?
You not only insulted me, a future sister-in-law, but also every woman on this planet. You labelled their names as being worthless and the man's name to be superior, this giving them a status of a second class citizen. That is an injustice to ALL WOMEN and I am deeply disappointed in you. I expected better from you.
I thought you would be a supportive player in this- however, I guess I am wrong. I am sorry for holding you in such high regard.
-Your devastated future sister-in-law
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